NOT!

I'm not a feminist. Not even a little. Not by any definition of the word.

I generally resist "ist" definitions to begin with. I've tried to define myself using them in the past and the list goes on for miles. I am too specific a person to be comfortable cloaked in generalities.

Oddly, the only single word description I've ever been comfortable with is "warrior". I can't really claim I have a right to it. I've never been in a serious fight. But it's the only thing I've used to describe myself that's had any resonance at all.

For the last ten years I have been working my ass off (literally) to make it more legitimate.

I've actually been training in about four martial arts for over twenty years. But about ten years ago I walked into a little gym in Coquitlam, on the advice of a stunt man I respected, James Bamford.

The Martial Arts Training Centre was in a little strip mall off Lougheed highway. The head (the only) instructor was a lean, taciturn man named Gary. We talked for a while and he clearly had no idea what to make of me: a pudgy, geeky middle aged woman who wanted to learn to fight. I decided to train with him because of the answer to a single question: What's the best way to defend yourself? A: Run away.

One private lesson and I was hooked. When I lost my job a few months later, it was like a relief: now I had more time to train!

That became the pattern of my life ever after: I started to set my schedule, alter my career path and plan my day around Gary's class times. At the height, I was at the gym six days a week.

Oh, those were good days.

And bad too. I screwed up around Gary a very great deal. He's now thrown me out of the gym twice, for losing control of my temper. The upside of that is: I now can control my temper. All my emotions, actually.

Once I figured out that the universe didn't owe me emotional indulgence, things have skipped along. Though I have left that gym (and the new one we moved to up the hill a few years later) weeping with grief and rage more than once I now indulge myself in private, with a little dignity.

If I walked off the mats every night for the rest of eternity in emotional agony,it would be worth it. In the last ten years I have gained the following from my time with Gary:

* Health (I have lost over eighty pounds and gone from obese to the edge of "professional athlete" in my fitness)
* Expertise (I'm a pretty good technical fighter in JKD, Boxing, Kickboxing, Kali and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. And by that I mean I have medals.)
* Motivation (I started writing again because I realized no one-NO ONE-in the fantasy world was writing fighting women realistically)
* Love (Not romantic love, but the kind that happens when you finally find someone who just GETS you. I would be alone indeed without my M, who I would not have met but for the gym.)

Is this enough for the obligatory biography post? If anyone ever reads this and wants to know more, drop me a line.